[Codo]

Ich hab diese Texte mal angefangen, als die die Comics auf Englisch übersetzen wollte. Und dann bin ich halt dabei geblieben.

Mal sehen, ich habe sowieso keine Ahnung, wie ich das alles Mal zusammen bringe.  
 

---

S: Just when I thought I was doing OK, a romantic comedy sends me into a panic attack.



RP: Yeah, romantic comedies have the same effect on me.  

S: I was seriously triggered, you insensitive (and probably sexist) moron.

S: I spent the majority of my life as a lab rat. So the lab scene in "Splash" hit a bit too close to home.

S: The weird thing is that most of the time I deal with it just fine and can even joke about it. And some days...nyargh!  

RP2: So what do you want us to do, ban movies?  

S: I don't blame the movie. Traumas can turn everyday things into triggers. But if triggers are a joke for you, or you trigger somebody on purpose, you are an asshole.

RP3: Wow, I never thought you'd talk to openly about it.

S: I don't get the obsession with proving toughness. You can't have feelings and be immune to pain at the same time. The more sensitive and sentient a species, the more it's vulnerable to getting hurt and traumatized.

RP3: Fuck these assholes for doing this to you.

S: Well...my species was dramatically decimating their population and wreaking havoc on their planet's eco system. I can't blame them for trying to find our weak spots.




S: They also tried to test my intelligence, but I played dumb. I'm still kind of proud that although they tortured me into compliance, I fucked with them whenever I could.  

S: And then, in an ironic twist of fate and by pure chance, Mourose finds a substance to knock me off my feet.  

S: And give me weird dreams...VERY weird (yet revealing) dreams.

[Codo]

RP1: @Mourose, you didn't exaggerate when you said he was whiny.  
M: I was joking about his authentic communication of negative emotions, which can be irritating, but it makes it a LOT easier to deal with than all this emotional bullshitting that humans do. I was NOT talking about his trauma, and I would never joke about it.
M: None of you would have even survived mentally what was done to him. Despite the torture and isolation he had to endure for the first years of his life, he is emotionally and mentally STILL a lot stronger and more stable than most humans. 
S: You really don't have to do this, but...


RP2: Did you ever think about getting therapy?
S: I doubt they'd be able to help me, because it makes me defensive and disdainful, if somebody claims to understand what I've been through.  
S: And from what I've been told, therapy can usually be summed up by "Chiquitita."
S: Although this line confuses the hell out of me: "You'll be dancing once again like a hangry lamb, you will have no time for reaving."
M: You really mastered the art of mood whiplash.
S: I think you found my coping mechanism

M: I found it. The most irritating sound in the universe. Slyth sharpening his tail blade on his teeth (or vice versa).
S:

M: The visuals are also quite disturbing.
S: Not as disturbing as your thunderous sneeze that sent me to the ceiling and a huuuuge blob of snot across the room.
S: I didn't even know you could produce that much slime.
M: Don't tell me you were impressed. 
S: A bit  

S: This is one of the days when I ask myself: Why do I keep DMs open.
S: Why do so many women insist on embarassing themselves.

RP: I like to bath in the blood of my enemies. I hoped you'd like it.
S: What have these evil raspberries done to you to deserve being bled out as questionable decoration of your milk glands.
M:



RP: How can you see?
S: With my eyes
RP: WHERE?
S: Under the dome
M: You can see them under certain light conditions, and if you are really close.
S: Yessss come closer
M: I don't want to make you nervous
S: Too late

RP: How old are you?
S: With hibernation, thousands of years. Without it, about seven years.
RP: So you are...still a child??
S: Na, we grow to our final size in a few weeks and mature in months. The growth rate depends on the food, activity, temperature...
RP: And how old can you get?
S: No idea! Maybe we could live for a long time. Queens occationally live for hundreds of years. But drones and especially warriors usually live dangerous, voilent and thus short lifes.
S: I'm an old fuck.  
M: If YOU are old, then what am I.

S:

M: [age gap awkwardness intensifies]  

S: Although I appreciate your interest, this question-answer-pattern is getting a bit boring.
M: Try jeopardy instead!
S: This muscle is powered by hydraulics
RP: What is a penis!  
M: That's not a muscle.  
S: Not in humans!

[Codo]

S: I saw an asshole catcalling and following women around. I gave him a taste of his own medicine and stalked him. Never made myself visible, but let him know that I was following him by making deliberate noise and hissing at him. After some time he was seriously freaking out.








M: I love it when you put your sadistic streak to a good cause.  

S: Sadistic streak? ME?





RP1: Taste of his own medicine? We are not deadly predators!  



S:








S: Do you really want me to pull out the murder and rape statistics?



M: Cue the "not all men" comments



RP2: Not all of us are rapists and murderers



M:







RP1: As if a woman would be scared to death by a catcaller!

S: You could ask them, but you wouldn't believe them anyway, right?

S: The women had an elevated heartrate, they were cold sweating, muscles tensing up, hands shaking, looking for ways to escape. Exactly the same as the asshole's reaction to my stalking.

RP3: Just because they had similar physical responses, it doesn't mean they were equally afraid.



S: Do you REALLY want to humansplain fear to me.








M: Humansplain







RP2: Bullshit. There's no way you could know their heart rate etc




S: I see/sense a lot more than you.







S: That also means I always know, who let off that rancid fart. So don't even try to deny it.

M:






RP4: Why do women freak out over men, who just want to compliment and get to know them??  




S: I was also just complimenting him. His brain looked REALLY tasty.





M: Getting to know? No man ever got laid because he catcalled and stalked a woman. It's just a sick power game.



RP1: So you admit you wanted to kill him.



S: I just played with him. I never had any real intentions to do him any harm.



RP1: And how was he supposed to know that he was not in serious danger?



S:





M: Soooo close to getting it.

[Codo]

Warum haut mir das Forum immer dieser seltsamen Absätze rein?  


S: Without cookies, I become a monster  
M: I gained so much weight thanks to your stupid cookies  
S: Your survival chances are now higher, if a famine broke out, you fell into ice water...
M: Yeah, not helpful
S: That would be me, if I COULD gain weight

S: Apparently I store excessive energy in a different way  
M: Life is just unfair.
S: It is. Sorry.
S: I can't complain about your weight gain, though. I find it kind of mesmerizing.
M: You are treading on dangerous grounds.
S: I like danger.
S: And I like my human lava lamp

M: Stop staring, creep.
S: Butt it's impossible!
M: Fine. As long as you don't mentally tag me as food porn.
S: You are making it harder than it already is
M:



RP: Being fat is unhealthy
S: Not necessarily. Certainly not when you are as active as Mourose. And it's far more dangerous to be an asshole in my vicinity.
RP: Fat people are the first to be eaten by predators, because they are slow as fuck.  
S: So YOU can run 90 mph.

S: And I'm also the only predator around, who COULD prey on humans, because you killed all the others.
RP: You are such an asshole
S: Your point?

RP: What band describes your personality?
S: Baby Metal
M: "GIMME CHOCOLATE"  

S: Pedo ring busted
S: "Getting eaten by xenomorphs" should be a legal punishment.

P: Nein.
S: Wenigstens EINER?

P: Schokolade?
S:

M: NOCH mehr Süsses? Wir brauchen getrennte Wohnungen.  
S: Verlass mich niiiiiiiiiiiicht
 
S: Ich esse die Schokolade auch alleine, versprochen!
M: Wie selbstlos von dir.


RP1: If we can't see your eyes, how can you see US?
S: Magic

S: Maybe because my eyes are not a light source, plus reflection. But probably magic.
S: The dome's transparency changes with the light conditions. Cool, eh?
RP2: Where does all this biological knowledge about xenos come from?
S: We could reconstruct some of the lab reports
RP2: And you have no problems reading this stuff?
S: OF COURSE I DO. Mourose reads them and gives me a summary.
M: The reports give ME nightmares.  
S: ANYWAY. Daily fun fact: My breathing switches to ram ventilation at high speed
S: YAWS MUSIC DUN-DUN DUN-DUN
M: Also when you run backwards?
S: Yeah, gives me extra propulsion when I turn back around
M:

[cybie]

Hast du mal ausprobiert, mal nur im Quelltext zu schreiben? (letzter Button über dem Schreibfeld)
Ist das dann auch so?

Das mache ich eigentlich nur, auch schon in der alten Forenversion.

Im Benutzer-CP kann man auch einstellen, dass es automatisch aktiviert ist, wenn es einem so besser gefällt.

[Codo]

Morgen kommt eine kleine Vorschau auf den nächsten Comic. Ich arbeite dran, aber da meine Motivation immer nur für kurze Zeiten reicht, geht es so unendlich langsam voran.   

RP: Please tell us about life in the hive   
S: There's werk to dooooo

M: Tag yourself  
S: Starlite
M: The most MAGNIFICENT horse in the galaxy. Obviously.   
S: AND the fastest.  
M: Wait. Why do you know his name.   
S: It's time you get to know my rainbow colored secrets
M: Makes me wonder what else are you doing when I'm at work...
S:

[Codo]

Bis der Comic fertig ist, erst Mal ein paar Tweets.

Ich werde übrigens niemals akzeptieren, das die Aliens keine natürlich entstandene, uralte Spezies sind, sondern das Eitelkeitsprojekt eines größenwahnsinnigen Androiden sein sollen.  
 

S: These fuckers cut off my right leg, exposed me to 8000 mSv of radiactive radiation and put me into a vaccuum chamber for three days. Still waiting for long term effects, though.
RP: You are so overpowered, it's ridiculous.  
S: On earth. These adaptations must have evolved for a reason. Says a lot about conditions on our home planet.

S: Something must have kept our numbers in check. We probably had natural enemies that had effective ways to defend themselves against our parasitism. Or we were even lower in the food chain.
RP: I don't want to know what kind of creature preys on xenomorphs...
S: Neither do I  
S: And then we somehow escaped, or some genius even decided to remove us from our home planet. 
M: With your intelligence you should have been able to invent space flight yourselves.
S: Aw, thanks. But similar to early humans, we were probably way too busy using our skills and intelligence with NOT DYING to get to that level of accumulated knowledge.
RP: Do you know where you originally come from?
S: Nope. We can hibernate for millenia, the eggs are practically immortal. So maybe our home planet doesn't even exist any longer.
RP: That's sad.
S: Nope. I like earth.

S: It also doesn't hurt to be overpowered  

RP: How did you tame him?
M: Slyth? TAME?
S:

RP: So are you imprinted on humans?
S: We never imprint, and we can't be bribed or manipulated
M: I bet it's Stockholm syndrome (sorry)  
S: Nah. I'm a simple creature but not THAT simple.
S: I just came to the conclusion that some humans might have to offer more than calories and incubators
S: I'd gamble on my friendships with them, if I killed the assholes
S: And the rest are just too entertaining in their dumbassery

[Codo]

S: Mourose decided to use chemical warfare again  
M: I just used body wash, Slyth. Calm the fuck down.
S: But the SMELL
M: What about it. It's peach.
S:

S: If an extraterrestrial was once told about the smell of peaches from the last human on earth who was dying of radiation sickness and then described the smell to a sentient but malfunctioning robot and the robot rebuilt the smell from memory out of sugar substitute and stuff he found on a chemical waste dump...THAT would be the smell of your goddamn body wash
 
M:

M: Is that your normal brain function or are you seriously freaking out.   
S: Dunno. Feeling dizzy.
M: You are a really weird combination of a hypersensitive diva and a tough bitch.
S: Thanks?

[Codo]

Ich bin mal wieder krank, aber zum Tippen reicht es irgendwie immer. Schreiben ist so viel einfacher und schneller als Comics malen. Andererseits fehlt mir dabei auch immer etwas. Meine Vorstellungskraft ist SEHR visuell, und ich habe nie das Gefühl, das richtig in Worten zu beschreiben. Oder wenn ich es tun würde, den Leser mit Details langweilen würde. Ich finde, man kann durch einen Blick, eine Körperhaltung oder sogar nur durch Farben viel mehr ausdrücken als durch Worte. Aber es kostet so viel Zeit, und es bringt die Story so unendlich langsam voran...

S: I can do partial integration, but I don't understand why the first pancake NEVER works out.  
M: Hey genius, clean up the kitchen after researching the universe's biggest mysteries.
S:

brb
RP: WAIT A SECOND. You can do WHAT??
S: Math is the only language that makes sense.

RP: You are seriously starting to freak me out.
S: Good GOOD



S: THAT'S IT? I thought atom bombs were more difficult to build. Now where do I get Uranium 235. Did-de-dee...
M: Oh shit  
RP1: Stop teaching him our knowledge, he will kill us all.
M: I'm not doing anything. I just showed him how to use the internet.
RP2:  
RP1: Switch off the internet!
S: Calm down. Humanity will kill itself before I finished watching all cat videos. 

S: Roses are red, violets are purple and not blue, poetry is hard.  
RP: Well, there has to be something that you can't do.
M: Your tweets ARE poetry.
S: Awwwww

S: What humans call art

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Square_(painting)
S: What I call art

M: What do you think about this?

S: It's so beautiful.       
M: You are right next to me on the couch. Are we really doing this?

[Balulie]

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Hmmm

Leider immer alles nur in englisch. Schade! Aber warum hier im deutschen Forum?